Lacrimosa
by Emerald-Leaves
Summary: Ludwig waits up for Gilbert to come home, feeling guilty and worried that his brother hates him. Warning: AU. DARK.


**Lacrimosa**

Germany sighed impatiently as he watched the television. He turned away from the flashing screen to look at the clock. It was midnight. It was midnight and his brother _still _wasn't home. What did Gilbert find to do all of the damn time? How much alcohol could the albino consume and still _live_? It was getting rather annoying, having to stay up every night to wait for him, especially when Ludwig had work the next day. Gilbert just didn't seem to understand that anymore since he never helped his brother with _anything._ It was quite surprising how lax the once great nation of Prussia had become.

Looking back over at the screen, the blonde decided that the later it got, the more mind numbing and worthless shows became. He flipped through the channels and once more found nothing of interest to watch. There were mostly advertisement shows playing, men and women trying to sell things that were not the least bit tempting, while attempting to make it look appealing. There were a few old movies on, none of which sparked any curiosity, and there were even a few late night comedies playing. They held little to no interest for Ludwig, though he couldn't help but think perhaps Gilbert would like something like this, and so his finger paused over the button.

He watched for what only seemed like a few minutes, but when he glanced at the clock again, it showed it was twelve thirty. Without Ludwig's leave, another thirty minutes had passed and still, Gilbert was not home. He thought about calling the wild albino, but he knew his brother wouldn't have a phone. East wouldn't carry one with him.

Flipping to the next channel, a documentary was in the middle of its lesson. It was yet another World War II documentary that the people seemed obsessed with, but Germany rarely watched them. They were painful and inaccurate and he hated them. But every once and a while he would make himself sit through one, just to see what everyone thought about that particular episode in his history.

Shots of an absolutely destroyed Berlin came into view, and it hurt Germany's heart. Each image grew worse and worse as the narrator was talking about all of the damages done to the city and the casualty rate. The narrator said a number, Germany quietly corrected him, and a hollowness entered the German as he watched. He did not want to look at these images, he remembered them quite well, and yet his finger seemed to freeze so that he was unable to save himself.

"After the war," the narrator's voice filled the room, "to try and crush the Germans military spirit, the nation was divided, and the Allies went to the root of the militaristic attitude of the country: Prussia." Ludwig winced. "In 1947—"

The television was suddenly off. Germany looked around, confused, until he realized that he must have found the energy to turn the stupid thing off. Sure enough, his finger had reflexively jumped to the off button to save him. Well, that was all well and good.

The clock read five 'til one the next time he glanced back at it, and knowing that he needed to distract himself, the blonde wandered to his office to grab some paper work. If he was going to be up all night, he might as well make the most of it. He would have to make Gilbert clean the house for making him stay up this late. The lazy Prussian didn't do anything anyway.

Wanting to be somewhat comfortable, Ludwig returned to the living room, unable to sit in his office, and began going through his files and other documents that would be due soon. He had gotten quite good at paperwork over the years, and it was somewhat of a blessing that he didn't really have to think about what he had to do anymore. His eyes automatically went to the important points in all of the documents, saving him time from having to read it in its entirety, his hands worked on autopilot as he signed this and that. He didn't have to _think_ just _react_.

He carried on in this fashion until it was quarter 'til two. Ludwig growled. Where _was _his brother? Surely he would have let him know if he was staying with someone else, right? _Gilbert always was a little thoughtless_…

Shaking his head, Germany went into the kitchen where he had left a plate of food covered on the table for when his brother got back. He always left food out for his brother on his return. Ludwig knew it was a little silly, but he could never stand the thought of his brother going to bed hungry. Gilbert had always taken care of _him _in the past, so the blonde figure that even though he failed in everything else, he could at least make sure his brother was fed.

For some unknown reason, Ludwig found himself sitting down at the table, staring at the plate of food, which was probably ice cold by now. He had made his brother's favorite, _wurst _and fried _kartoffeln. _He had even left out two bottles of beer and the bottle opener, just in case. Something was missing though… Standing up, Germany went to the cabinet and took out the bag of bird seed. Gently, he sprinkled a small pile on the table.

There, now everything was set and ready for his brother. All Gilbert had to do was heat the food up a little and it was ready. Ludwig was about to leave, but stopped. Maybe Gilbert wouldn't heat it up, maybe he didn't know how? It was two in the morning, and he should be coming home soon…

Grabbing the plate, Germany placed it in the microwave and heated it. After two minutes it was done, and he placed it back on the table and recovered it. There, now it would be warm for when his brother got home.

Satisfied with himself, Ludwig decided that he should probably just go to bed. Gilbert was being a jerk and wasn't coming home early. But on the way to his bedroom upstairs, somewhere along the way, Ludwig's feet took him to the basement, to his brother's room. He didn't know why he went down there, but he did.

He turned on the light and walked down the steps. The room was surprisingly clean, the bed made neatly with the bird cage next to it. There were many of Gilbert's old things down here, past flags, ancient swords and armor, paintings, and of course, some of his journals. There was an old map above the bed that showed a detailed image of Prussia from the mid 1800s. It was quite old, but it was beautiful.

Since everything was clean, Ludwig almost left, when he discovered a layer of dust on the dresser and the desk. Frowning, the blonde went to the closet and took out the duster and began dusting. Once he had dusted the whole room, the blonde turned his attention to sweeping the floor and then polish up the wood. Gilbert didn't do anything anymore, and it annoyed Ludwig that he had to, but at the same time, he thought back to the documentary only a few moments ago and guilt surged through him.

It was really his fault that Gilbert couldn't do anything. It was because of him that his brother went out. No, cleaning and waiting up for his brother wasn't such a bad thing. His brother was probably still angry with him, so if Ludwig always had to clean up after the albino and make sure he got in for the night, then he would. It really wasn't all that hard. It was an easy price to pay just if only Gilbert would forgive him and not be angry with him anymore!

On his way out, Ludwig stopped in front of a portrait of Gilbert in his Prussian blues. He had always been so proud of his military and of their ability to survive…a pang hit Germany's heart, and he turned away. Maybe Gilbert was home now and eating his dinner?

Three o'clock and still no sign of the albino. Where was he? Surely he wasn't out wandering the streets drunkenly. The thought both terrified and angered Germany. Well, if the idiot was stupid enough to do that, then he wouldn't have any problems finding his way home. Ludwig certainly wasn't going to go out this late searching for the man.

Back in the living room, his work lay strewn about in an unorganized mess from when he had abandoned it in favor of going into the kitchen. The blonde scowled and began cleaning up his mess. It really wasn't like him to be so untidy, but he attributed it to being tired. It _was _a little after three now. It was understandable that he was getting a little careless.

Sitting down, Ludwig flipped on the television again. The same history station was playing something about Britain this time. He let it numb his mind for a minute before his eyes started to feel quite heavy. It was understandable, it was so very early in the morning, and he'd gotten up early the morning before. His head began to nod, but he wrestled violently to stay awake. He had to be up when his brother got home.

A thrill of terror flashed in the blonde's heart. He _had _to see that Gilbert got home. He wanted to be sure that his brother was in safe and sound. It didn't matter how annoying or lazy or rude his brother was, Ludwig still cared for him. He would do _anything _to see that his brother was home safely.

Losing the fight, Ludwig started to slump farther and farther down into the couch. A wave of sorrow flooded over him because he was not strong enough to even stay awake a little longer. What would Gilbert think of him? Prussia did not like weakness…

"Go to sleep, West," a voice drifted over the German's ears.

Peeling open blue eyes, Ludwig saw his brother, smiling down at him tenderly. "_Bruder_…"

"Go to sleep," Gilbert repeated. There was a sadness in his eyes. "Shh, just rest now."

"A-are you still mad at me?" Germany's voice came out as a weak whisper, his eyes filling with tears as though he were a small child.

"No. Never."

Peace came over Ludwig like it never had before. He suddenly felt as though all the weight of the world had been taken from his chest him and he felt just so _happy_. He smiled up at his brother, trying to reach out to him. "_Bruder_."

"Sleep now, West," Gilbert said gently.

And Germany found he didn't have the strength to deny it any longer. Ludwig fell asleep on the couch, feeling light and satisfied now that he had seen his brother and that Gilbert had not seemed angry anymore. He could not wait to talk in the morning.

**oOoOoOo**

Austria walked up the steps to Germany's house and knocked on the door. There was no answer, but he didn't really expect one. Taking out the key he'd had made, he opened the door and stepped inside. "Ludwig?"

There was no answer. Stepping in, the brunette went first to the blonde's bedroom. It was empty, the bed messed up and crinkled and clothes strewn about untidily, but the room smelled stale, as though it had not been used for several days. He went back down to the main floor and went into the office. It was a wreck, papers and documents scattered all over the desk and onto the floor. Books were littered all around the room and there was a broken lamp that had been smashed in the middle. Troubled, Austria went on in his search, becoming quite desperate to find his cousin.

The kitchen was devoid of any life, though there was a plate of food just sitting out and two bottles of beer. There was a messy pile of what he assumed was bird seed next to the plate. He looked over to the sink to discover that none of the dishes had been washed for what appeared to have been for some time. The cabinet doors were all open and so was the microwave and refrigerator doors.

A slight noise from the living room caught the Austrian's attention, and he left to carefully investigate. It was the television, still on, and playing some terrible advertisement. But on the couch, in front of the coffee table that was littered with papers, was Germany, slumped over, his clothes wrinkled and stained, his hair getting long and messy, fast asleep.

The blonde looked terrible, and it saddened Austria considerably. Preparing himself, Roderich shook the younger nation's shoulder. "Ludwig, wake up."

Germany bolted upright with a loud gasp, his eyes red and bloodshot as he searched the room wildly. "_Bruder_?"

Austria stiffened. "_Nein_. It's me, Ludwig."

The confused nation turned and looked up at his cousin. "Austria?" the blonde leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I said I'd be back to check on you in a few days," Roderich said carefully. "How are you doing?"

Ludwig straightened up, looking scared. "Where's Gilbert?" he demanded. "Is he still here? Where did he go?"

An awkward pause overcame them as the two nations stared at one another. Roderich sighed at last, and sat down slowly next to the blonde, watching him carefully. "Ludwig…Gilbert's not here, remember?"

"He came back last night," Germany dismissed the brunette easily. "He must be in his room sleeping."

Without waiting for his cousin, Ludwig stood and went towards the basement, Austria followed him quickly. The taller man opened the door to the basement, and nearly ran down each step. "_Bruder_?" he called. "Wake up, Austria's here!"

Roderich winced, but followed the blonde. When they came to the main floor, they found the room empty, the bed still as neatly made as it had been the night before. There was no one there. The room smelled of cleaning supplies and old rusting iron. It looked like a museum with a bed shoved in the back next to an old desk.

"_Bruder?_" the blonde looked around, confused.

"He's not here, Ludwig," Austria looked at his cousin worriedly.

"He must have left already for the day," Ludwig's shoulders slumped sadly. "I thought he would stay. He didn't seem mad at me last night."

"'Last night'?" Austria frowned worriedly at the blonde. "You…saw Gilbert last night?"

"Of course," Germany nodded. "I waited up for him, and he came home sometime around three, I think. I'm not sure. But maybe he'll come home around the same time tonight so that we can talk. We'll figure out this mess. He didn't seem so mad last night. I'm sure he'll stop hating me soon and come home. I know it!"

"Ludwig," Roderich sighed, sitting the blonde down on the bed. "Ludwig, remember, we talked about this. Gilbert won't be coming back tonight…or ever."

The blonde looked horrified. "He'll be back!" he shouted. It took all of Austria's strength to hold the bigger nation down. "He _did _come back last night!"

"Gilbert's dead, Ludwig."

The words hung in the air as the two nations stared at one another, one in grieving worry, the other in horror. "T-That's not true," Germany started shaking. "He was here. H-He's not de…he's _not _dea…"

Austria sighed in pity for his poor demented cousin. "He is gone, Ludwig," Roderich repeated softly. "Remember? It happened after East Germany merged with the west?"

"_N-Nein_," Ludwig shook his head, tears gushing from his eyes. "_Das ist nicht wahr!_"

"Ludw—"

"_Nein!_" the German bellowed, standing up to his full height, a crazed look in his eyes. "Get out! Get out of here you liar! Get OUT!"

Roderich watched with horror as Germany grabbed the desk that had once been sitting happily against the wall up and over his head. The brunette stumbled to his feet before he ran out of the basement just before the blonde threw the heavy object. As he ran from the house, Austria heard the poor fool scream. It was a raw, guttural scream, the kind that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to leave the blonde alone, yet he knew of nothing else he could do for the time being. If he was going to help Ludwig in the long run, he would need help himself. And so, Roderich ran, lamenting the day his pitiful cousin was reduced to this madness.

**oOoOoOo**

Inside, in a fit of rage, Ludwig began tearing up the room, screaming and crying as he did so. He knocked over all of the armor that had been preserved, he broke the glass in all of the display cases. He tore up the bedding and punched several holes into the walls. He couldn't stop himself, and continued in this fashion until he physically could not keep going.

After twenty minutes or so, Ludwig collapsed on the floor, looking around the room, gasping. What had he done? He had destroyed many of Gilbert's things! He had broken the glass, he had damaged the armor, had _harmed _the last little links he had left to his brother. What had he done?

Ludwig fell onto his side and curled in on himself, trying desperately to shut out the world as he sobbed. It wasn't true, none of what Austria had said was true. It was all a lie. Everyone was a liar, even though, deep in the back of his mind, he knew what they were saying was true. Gilbert was coming back, he _had _to come back, and until then Ludwig would wait up, weeping.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>…and this is what happens when I become depressed about final papers and exams, and listen toMozart's _Lacrimosa _from his _Requiem_. Take this as you will. Please leave me your thoughts, if you'd be so kind. Thanks!


End file.
